Toodlepip dotblogspot: Balls of Fury

Showing posts with label Balls of Fury. Show all posts

The new Dungeons and Dragons Red Box Advert

...is FUCKING METAL!!!

I was watching a show I refuse to admit to watching on Hulu just now and saw an advert for the Dungeons and Dragons red box... and totally had to share.

Oh shiiiiiiiiiiiii....

I think it's worth the whole seven minutes, but I'm nutty that way.

This is monumentally stupid

But it also becomes kind of zen if you watch it all the way through. About halfway through the lyrics even get pretty hilarious.

Ben's Hot List

I begin by noting my disdain for previously-posted "hot" lists. I have yet to see a single item that reaches even 40 °C; positively frigid by comparison to my list.

Number Three: The Sun

While it is outclassed by the remainder of the list at a with a tepid surface of temperature of just 5900° C, I include it here because of its personal significance. In fact, it's quite likely that without it, I would never have been born!

Number Two: HD 93129A

When it comes to astronomical phenomena, now we're getting somewhere. At 52,000° C on its surface, HD 93129A is one of the brightest stars in our galaxy, and positively balmy. HD 93129A isn't for those who prefer their hotties pint-sized, however, as most of you seem to do; its radius is 25 times that of our sun. (Personally, I think it's long past time for the trend towards skeletal, boyish hotties to be taken out back and shot.)

Number One: The Large Hadron Collider

Spanning the French-Swiss border, 100 meters underground, lurks a 27 km long beast capable of melting protons. Firing ions at 99.99% the speed of light, the Large Hadron Collider will produce 600 million collisions per second, each at a temperature (well, energy) of 166,306,000,000,000,000 °C. Incidentally, this is how the world ends: the Swiss accidentally make a black hole and crack the Earth in half.

I'd like to see Angelina Jolie try that.

I should very much like to see more people posting their Hot List...

...but in the meantime:

Frank Miller's KATAMARI DAMACY

Video Games | Once Upon a Pixel | Katamari Damacy

XBox 360 | Playstation 3 | Nintendo Wii

A Bit Ballsier Than I Expected

I knew they were winding up to go after them, but this borders on taunting, lol. It starts out pretty yawn-tastic, then abruptly makes a total u-turn at the last second (sound is important).

Dokken VS Chicken

Transform and Roll 'Em Out

As the nation reels from the new Transformers flick including gold-toothed gangsta Transformers and giant, wrecking ball testicles on Devastator, I've learned that this isn't the Transformers' first 'bout with gonad issues.

Meet Heinrad, circa the Beast Wars Transformers.

(look below the clock he uses to stop time)

Yes, he transformed into a Tanuki, the big-balled raccoons of Japan legend.

As the Transformers Wiki explains...

Heinrad transforms into a tanuki. Tanuki in folklore are usually depicted with massive testicles which they can drum on. Heinrad's testicles are rather large for a Transformer (IE: he has some), but quite small for a tanuki. His articulation, while good, does not allow him to drum on his testicles. In tanuki mode he can also hold a bottle of sake (tanuki are drunks) and a book of IOUs (used to trick people into giving him money).

WTF, indeed?

Cock Shot

Cock Shot from Invisible Engine on Vimeo.

Conservatives Teabag Congress

This is not a joke!

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

No one will ever believe you

Ok guys, so it was a regular Wednesday and I was working my shitty convenience store job. The lull between lunch and when people start getting out of work. I hear the door open but don't look over since I was finishing up an article in the paper. I finish the the last couple sentences and look up to see fuckin' Bill Murray standing in front of me with some hot chick at his side. He sets a 6-pack of Molson XXX on the counter and winks at me. I ring him out while I tell him I'm a fan of his work. Right before he leaves he glances over at the chick and says "Dump 'em out." The chick lifts up her shirt and produces some phenomenal titties. He looks at me smirking and says "No one will ever believe you" and leaves.

I was in Brooklyn last summer to visit my cousins. We were just getting back from a show, eating at a diner, when all of the sudden a guy with a hat and sunglasses walks in and sits at a table behind us. My cousin, being drunk, starts telling a joke about a monkey. In the joke, the monkey throws his shit across the room, and in explaining this, my cousin flings a piece of turkey from his plate into the air. It falls behind us and lands directly onto the plate of the man in th hat. Both parties turn around and look at each other, and sure enough, it's Bill Murray. After a pause, he smiles wryly and hucks the turkey back at my cousin, hitting him in the face. Then Bill Murray chuckles and casually leans over to me to say "No one will ever believe you" and strolls out of the diner.

I went to see Lost in Translation at the theater with my gf a few years back. As the movie was letting out, and were in the parking lot, getting ready to leave, I said to her, "This movie was kinda lame." Then someone kicked my knee from behind and I fell to the ground. As I rolled over to get up, Bill Murray had his finger pointing menacingly in my face. He stooped down to about an inch from my face and said, "No one will believe you."

In a total random encounter I ran into Bill Murray at a bar in LA, we got drunk and right before last call he tells me he's the one who shot and killed HS Thompson. He then ordered a Tom Collins and said, "No one will ever believe you."

I totally believe these stories! Years ago in a Chicago bar, he was walking past me through the crowd and when I made eye contact with him he came rushing over and starting tickling me. I was overloaded with surprise, laughter, and a little freaked out. Then he told me "No one will ever believe you", and walked off. It was odd, and all my friends were in shock.

Christian Bale Wants to Kick Your Ass

This Christian Bale tirade was recorded on the set of the new Terminator movie. Apparently he's tearing into the Director of Photography for wandering into the shot while the camera was rolling.

http://www.deadlinehollywooddaily.com/christian-bale-being-a-prick-to-a-dp/

Should've used the batvoice...

Comments

War Dogs!

Face Off