Just posted this on Facebook, but a video this epic needs multiple venues. What follows is clips of the season finale of SMALLVILLE where Clark finally wore the Superman costume...
...and one fan's reaction. I don't even care that it's 95% likely to be fake.
Showing posts with label world knows you're a nut now. Show all posts
Showing posts with label world knows you're a nut now. Show all posts
Smurf Reproduction: A Treatise - Part 1: Anatomy
Or: How they Smurfing Smurf it.
There are lots of Smurfs! Where do they come from? Why's there just one girl? Is she a total blue whore? What is in this shit?
WHAAAAT'S IN THIS SHIIIIITTTT?!?!?!
These are a few of the questions I asked myself when I set out on my Anthropo-chemico-logical expedition so long ago, in those hazy blue daze of yore. Much of the journey is now lost to the sands of time, and mists of clouded recollections, but based on my few remembered observations and copious, if often incoherent, field notes, I have been able to determine the following:
Smurfs are essentially hermaphroditic; that is ALL Smurfs have both boy parts AND girl parts...sort of. At least, they all look the same with their knickers off anyway. The majority of them identify male, except for Smurfette, who likes to play at being a girl. In reality, they are all exactly the same...down there, and in fact it is possible, though unproven, that the make turns turns assuming the various roles with which we are familiar.
EQUALS 
You will have noticed their stubby blue tails, which they make no pains to conceal. These are the equivalent of their male Smurfexual organs, potruding behind them in a constant, austentatious mating display. When aroused, these Smurfalluses pulse and quiver, and become turgid, though without increase in size. There is no need for the embiggenning, as it turns out.
Look! Look at his naughty Smenis!
What you have not seen, nor have more than a handful of intrepid indviduals, hidden by there little white pants, or in Smurfettes's case, a dainty Smurfrock, is that they all have in their front place, a corresponding indentation, a concave to their tail's convex. A Smurfhole, if you will. This Smurfagina is precisely the same dimension as the Smurfallus, but inverted, so that each one can comfortably fit into the other, like stacking cups, or some kind of horny, blue Lego(tm).
I don't have any pictures of a Smurfagina, or more rudely, Smunt, but if I did (I don't!) I would not post them. You'll just have to use your imagination and Smurf it out for yourselves.
So how does it work? How do they Smurf it?
Smurfs engaged in all variety of Smurfy activies. From the sweet and innocent:
to the totally Smurferted:
However none of these produce any new Smurfs. Even if two Smurfs Smurf each other very much, and Smurf their Smurfies together all night long, they still won't make no Smurfs!!!
It don't Smurfin' Smurf like that!
Stay tuned for Part 2: The Ritual, in which I will endeavor to explain exactly how it Smurfing Smurfs.
There are lots of Smurfs! Where do they come from? Why's there just one girl? Is she a total blue whore? What is in this shit?
WHAAAAT'S IN THIS SHIIIIITTTT?!?!?!
These are a few of the questions I asked myself when I set out on my Anthropo-chemico-logical expedition so long ago, in those hazy blue daze of yore. Much of the journey is now lost to the sands of time, and mists of clouded recollections, but based on my few remembered observations and copious, if often incoherent, field notes, I have been able to determine the following:
Smurfs are essentially hermaphroditic; that is ALL Smurfs have both boy parts AND girl parts...sort of. At least, they all look the same with their knickers off anyway. The majority of them identify male, except for Smurfette, who likes to play at being a girl. In reality, they are all exactly the same...down there, and in fact it is possible, though unproven, that the make turns turns assuming the various roles with which we are familiar.
EQUALS You will have noticed their stubby blue tails, which they make no pains to conceal. These are the equivalent of their male Smurfexual organs, potruding behind them in a constant, austentatious mating display. When aroused, these Smurfalluses pulse and quiver, and become turgid, though without increase in size. There is no need for the embiggenning, as it turns out.
Look! Look at his naughty Smenis!
What you have not seen, nor have more than a handful of intrepid indviduals, hidden by there little white pants, or in Smurfettes's case, a dainty Smurfrock, is that they all have in their front place, a corresponding indentation, a concave to their tail's convex. A Smurfhole, if you will. This Smurfagina is precisely the same dimension as the Smurfallus, but inverted, so that each one can comfortably fit into the other, like stacking cups, or some kind of horny, blue Lego(tm).
I don't have any pictures of a Smurfagina, or more rudely, Smunt, but if I did (I don't!) I would not post them. You'll just have to use your imagination and Smurf it out for yourselves.
So how does it work? How do they Smurf it?
Smurfs engaged in all variety of Smurfy activies. From the sweet and innocent:
to the totally Smurferted:
However none of these produce any new Smurfs. Even if two Smurfs Smurf each other very much, and Smurf their Smurfies together all night long, they still won't make no Smurfs!!!
It don't Smurfin' Smurf like that!
Stay tuned for Part 2: The Ritual, in which I will endeavor to explain exactly how it Smurfing Smurfs.
I have to think it's a gag...
...'cause if it's real, we all gonna die.
Two things:
1) The first five seconds reveal a fascinating secret about one of our own fellow bloggers!
2) It's worth watching all the way through, but watch it with a friend so you can MST3K it.
Two things:
1) The first five seconds reveal a fascinating secret about one of our own fellow bloggers!
2) It's worth watching all the way through, but watch it with a friend so you can MST3K it.
Hello, I am Randy Quaid and I am an insane hobo.
**Side note: How the hell did this blog not have a "hobos" tag?!? You can thank me later for remedying that mind- boggling situation. ;)
**Side note: How the hell did this blog not have a "hobos" tag?!? You can thank me later for remedying that mind- boggling situation. ;)
Haunted Legend of Zelda cartridge
By now I figure everyone's read the amazing Dionaea House and Ted's Caving Page. What I've got here is another example of creepy metafiction, notable for its unlikely source - a Legend of Zelda cartridge - and its surprisingly effective (and ridiculously detailed) execution. I think it starts a little hokey, but the deeper you get into it, the more real it seems.
There're even YouTube vids that accompany it.
JUST FOLLOW THE LINK! <--- (also works as a Zelda pun)
Really? Reaaaaaally???
In not so breaking news that comes as a surprise to nobody, a local news outlet touts one more ridiculous reason for parents to panic about the safety of their children on the EEEEEVIIIL internet.
Getting high on youtube videos, aka "digital drugs" or "iDosing." Hey, at least they aren't wearing tales and running in werewolf packs, right?
Getting high on youtube videos, aka "digital drugs" or "iDosing." Hey, at least they aren't wearing tales and running in werewolf packs, right?
OMG, Mel Gibson audio
Here's the phone call to his girlfriend. Wildly NSFW.
He sounds like a combination of Christian Bale's Batman and the most horrible person who's ever lived.
ENJOY!
He sounds like a combination of Christian Bale's Batman and the most horrible person who's ever lived.
ENJOY!
"Eat da poo poo!"
Sometimes you don't know whether to laugh or cry. Here's a homophobic Ugandan minister warning his countrymen about what teh gays do: namely, "eat da poo poo!"
Star Wars sitcom?
There's talk of it happening from the Robot Chicken team.
Sounds like a bad idea to me, but I did crack up over this Robot Chicken Star Wars bit that was embedded in the article...
Sounds like a bad idea to me, but I did crack up over this Robot Chicken Star Wars bit that was embedded in the article...
When the Rapture Happens, What will Happen to your Pets?
Click on the link to meet the people who are going to step in and help you with your problem.
CLICK ME
CLICK ME
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