When Jimmy Dean Sausages went from 16 ounces to 12 ounces, this man had a problem. Listen, won't you, to the call he made to their consumer feedback line...
(the coda, after he thinks he's hung up, is priceless)
you wouldn't think 4oz. would make that much difference to 600 pounds of men, and their no doubt voluminous, but tactfully not weighed 13 year old daughter. but you also wouldn't think that they each get their own roll of sausage, either.
>>> you wouldn't think 4 oz would make that much of a difference...
first off, you have forgotten his plump little stocky girl of a wife in your blubber count.
secondly, that extra 0.8 oz of sausage per person makes *all* the difference in the world to Randy Taylor's 1000 pound family... and that is why he will not buy their delicious products anymore or ever again.
Jeez, Randy. While beef curtain quite clearly relates to the facilities of a lady to enable a gentleman to gain entry with his pork sword, the reason is hitherto explained. In the 1970s many members of the middle class had dreadful looking reddy-brown curtains hanging in their houses often smelling of the sunday roast which had been enjoyed by the said middle classes on previous sundays. More often than not these people would enjoy a good bit of beef which is why the said curtains smelled the way they did. A lady's receptical which enables penal entry has a very similar persona after many years of sexual attention as the aforementioned 1970s curtains. The expression 'beef curtain' found its origin in the late 1970s.
lmao- I think this particular gentleman is a bit too invested in his delicious breakfast sausage.
ReplyDelete600 pounds of men!
ReplyDeleteAlso... pussy roll of sausage? What exactly is a pussy roll of sausage?
ReplyDelete>>>What exactly is a pussy roll of sausage?
ReplyDeleteIt's nothing attractive, that's for sure.
I believe I found a picture of this gentleman during his commute.
ReplyDeleteyou wouldn't think 4oz. would make that much difference to 600 pounds of men, and their no doubt voluminous, but tactfully not weighed 13 year old daughter. but you also wouldn't think that they each get their own roll of sausage, either.
ReplyDelete>>>What exactly is a pussy roll of sausage?
ReplyDelete>>>It's nothing attractive, that's for sure.
is it like the pork equivalent of "beef curtains"?
>>> you wouldn't think 4 oz would make that much of a difference...
ReplyDeletefirst off, you have forgotten his plump little stocky girl of a wife in your blubber count.
secondly, that extra 0.8 oz of sausage per person makes *all* the difference in the world to Randy Taylor's 1000 pound family... and that is why he will not buy their delicious products anymore or ever again.
Right on, Sara. He explained it very carefully.
ReplyDeleteSee, he's not from The North. He's a Texas man. And Jimmy Dean's Sausage is for Southern people to eat with their fried eggs and their t-bone steaks.
It's really an airtight case.
This may be my favorite comment thread ever on this blog.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, if you don't know what "beef curtains" are... don't Google it. You'll regret it.
ReplyDelete*TRUST ME*
Jeez, Randy. While beef curtain quite clearly relates to the facilities of a lady to enable a gentleman to gain entry with his pork sword, the reason is hitherto explained. In the 1970s many members of the middle class had dreadful looking reddy-brown curtains hanging in their houses often smelling of the sunday roast which had been enjoyed by the said middle classes on previous sundays. More often than not these people would enjoy a good bit of beef which is why the said curtains smelled the way they did. A lady's receptical which enables penal entry has a very similar persona after many years of sexual attention as the aforementioned 1970s curtains. The expression 'beef curtain' found its origin in the late 1970s.
ReplyDelete