2. A one man band is not an appropriate bard instrument.
3. There is no Gnomish god of heavy artillery.
6. Synchronized panicking is not a proper battle plan.
9. My monk's lips must be in sync.
11. Not allowed to berserk for the hell of it, especially during royal masquerades.
o13. Must not murder canon NPCs in their sleep, no matter how cliche they are.
14. Ogres are not kosher.
17. Collateral Damage Man is not an appropriate name for a super hero.
22. There is no such thing as a Gnomish Pygmy War Rhino.
24. Even if the rules allow it, I am not allowed to summon 50,000 Blue Whales.
25. The green elf does not need food badly.
28. The Goddess' of Marriage chosen weapon is not the whip.
30. I am not to kill off all the vampires in the LARP, even if they are terminally stupid.
32. I cannot buy any animal in groups of 100 or over.
36. I am not allowed to convince the entire party to sit on the same side of the table.
38. When investigating evil cultists not allowed to just torch the decrepit mansion from the outside.
39. Gnomes do not have the racial ability 'can lick their eyebrows'
43. No longer allowed to set nazi propaganda music to a snappy disco beat.
50. Not allowed to use thermodynamic science to asphyxiate the orcs' cave instead of exploring it first.
51. No longer allowed to use the time machine for booty calls.
54. Cannot pimp out other party members.
57. In the middle of a black op I cannot ask a guard to validate parking.
64. My paladin's battle cry is not "Good for the Good God"
65. There is no Summon Bimbo spell.
67. There is no Kung Fu manuever "McGuire Swings For Bleachers"
70. Not allowed to cook up nerve gas in the sink even if the target number is 5.
73. Not allowed to name my cudgel Ceremonial Whoopass Stick.
74. My thief's battle cry is not "Run And Live"
77. I did not get my super powers from James T. Kirk.
81. A picture of my ex-wife is not an acceptable backup weapon.
83. My gnome does not like big butts and he cannot lie.
88. My bard does not get a bonus to perform if she is obviously not wearing anything under her tabard.
90. My swashbuckling fop cannot take the flaw Dark Secret: Not Gay
92. The name of the weapn shop is not "Bloodbath and Beyond"
97. My one wish cannot be 'I wish everything on this piece of paper was true'
99. Not allowed to see if Jedi can parry a shotgun blast with their lightsaber.
102. I am not authorized to start any civil engineering project on the taxpayer's dime.
105. I am not allowed to polymorph anyone into Abe Vigoda.
106. I do not have weapon proficiency in cat.
107. There is no such game as Wereshark the Buffet.
108. No, I do not get XP for every single crewman on that Star Destroyer.
126. Dwarves do not count as burrowing animals.
129. Not allowed to name my ship The Antidisestablishmentarianism.
130. I am not authorized to form the head.
137. I do not have a scorching case of lycanthropy.
139. My bard is required to take levels in the perform skill and cannot 'just play by ear'
143. Not allowed to buy a holy symbol for every god just in case one of them is right.
148. There is no Gnomish Deathgrip, and even if there was, it wouldn't involve tongs.
163. Not allowed to try and make a dire version of any dog of the toy breeds.
165. I am forbidden from replacing anything with folger's crystals to see if they notice.
176. I cannot make called shots to the plectrum, anvil, stirrup, hammer or Isle of Langerhans.
180. I have neither the touch nor the power.
190. Duel wielding small animals is strictly forbidden.
191. My character is not related in anyway to Boba Fett. This goes double for Star Wars characters.
194. When the other guy picks swords for the choice of weapons, that does not leave me pistols.
195. I cannot use a silent feat enabled power word stun and blame it on the dog.
198. Not allowed to steal my own soul.
199. My third wish cannot be 'I wish you wouldn't grant this wish'
203. My superhero's strength is not classified as snazzy, neato or bodacious.
209. My Paladin's heraldry is not a smiley face.
211. If at any point if my dwarf takes on the mannerisms of Macho Man Randy Savage, he dies.
218. No matter my alignment, organizing halfling pit fights is a violation.
228. I cannot use my time machine to hire Hitler a hooker in 1920, thus avoiding WW2.
229. Not allowed to spontaneously check if the elf can take a punch.
238. My bard cannot play or has ever heard of the theremin, didgeridoo or glass armonica.
243. Cannot cast haste on the king during a long winded speech to get him to hurry the hell up.
248. There is no Halfling god of groin shots.
250. Superfluous Man is not a viable superhero concept.
251. I am not the Boogie-Woogie Bugle Boy of Gundam Wing Z.
252. I can not order the Druid to transform and roll out.
261. The Barbarian's name does not translate into "Screams like little sissy girl" in my language.
262. When the GM forces the plot, I cannot make choo-choo noises.
277. My half-ogre cannot surprise the halflings with spontaneous games of dodgeball.
279. I cannot base any elf off of any British Prime Minister.
282. Even if laughter is the best medicine, it still doesn't restore any of my HP.
302. A gimp suit does not count as leather armor.
311. Even if the rules allow it, I cannot start the game as pope.
317. My battlecry is not 'Now young Skywalker you will die'.
321. The monk's official title is Brother of the Lotus Path. Not the Slap Happy Jappy.
325. Even if he was a paragon of humanity in his alternate dimension, Good Hitler is not an appropriate superhero concept.
330. The Halfling Paladin does not represent the Lollipop Guild.
333. I cannot fistinate anybody, whatever the hell that means.
339. Can't avoid going on an epic quest with the excuse "Can't find a sitter"
344. No matter how much I make my IQ roll by, I can't make the other guy's head explode.
349. Power Word: Beer Me is not a real spell.
352. When I choose my wizard's familar, Belgians are not a legal choice.
355. My monk's battlecry is not "Round 1: Fight!"
366. Female minotaurs do not have udders. This issue is closed.
If you feel like looking at the entire thing, you can go here.
Slap Happy Jappy. Classic.
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